butterflies and the wind

I often enjoy going for long walks at a near by park. I connect best with God when I'm out in nature, so today I went for a 4 mile walk around the lake. Ever since I left Canada, I've been stressing about what I'm going to do, where I'm going to go and how I'm going to get there. My biggest stress has been trying to make sure that I only go where God wants me to be. I've been going crazy trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my life right now. Am I supposed to just sit tight and work to buy a car or should I be pursuing a career in youth ministry? If I'm to be a youth pastor right now, then which church will I go to and how will I know when I've found the right one. These have been my biggest stressing points. So, today I decided that I needed some alone time with God. As I was walking at the park I was talking to God and I felt him trying to tell me that I didn't need to worry about anything because he's in control and he's always with me. Right then, I saw a black and blue butterfly resting on the edge of the path. I stuck my finger in front of it and it walked right on. Flora (yes, I named her!) walked with me for about half a mile and the whole time I just knew that God was telling me that he was there with me. It was such an amazing feeling, though I'm afraid that there are no words to trully express how I felt. It was like this rush of calming peace swept over me and for the first time in a month and a half, I felt like everything was going to be ok. After Flora flew away, I decided to venture off the path (something I don't usually do) so I could sit by the lake. I found a little hill with a great view of the lake and I sat down and closed my eyes. Usually, when I'm seeking comfort or direction from God I ask him to speak to me...to give me answers (I don't often hear anything), but this time I just simply said, " I want to feel you, Lord". I told him that I had been reasurred that he was with me and that I needed to feel his presence. At that very moment a big gust of wind came seemingly from out of nowhere and blew over me...I knew it was God!

I reminded today that I don't need to stress over my future, but rather I need to work on taking one day at a time...I need to live in the moment! I have a new outlook on my future. I'm not going to worry about it! The other day I was expressing my frustrations to my friend Amanda and she said that no matter what direction I choose to go in or what choices I make, God's plan for my life will never get screwed up...talk about reassuring!!!

Now, everytime I see a butterfly or I feel the wind blow across my skin, I'll be reminded of God's intimate and everlasting presence.